The Redecorators

A school board meeting descends into chaos.

The board room at the West Fairbanks District 110 building was filled to capacity and then some. School Board President Randall Gardiner was sure it was the most attended school board meeting in his six years in that position. To Gardiner’s immediate left was Board Member Gerald Fallon and to his immediate right Board Member Carole Greenleaf

Scheduled for 6:30, the meeting was delayed until 6:45 due to the continuous trickling in of parents.

Once the clock struck a quarter to seven, Gardiner attempted to call the school board meeting to order. He searched his center slice of the semi-circular committee table but couldn’t find his gavel.

“Mr. Secretary?” he called to School Board Secretary Adam Leslie, a meek and balding man in his 30s. He was never sure what to do with himself before the meetings started and always seemed startled when he was needed.

“Yes, Mr. Chair?”

“Where’s my gavel?”

“Don’t you have it, sir?”

“No, I don’t have it,” School Board Chair Gardiner said, “Where is it?”

“I don’t know where it is.”

Leslie slinked back to his corner.

“Jesus. Well… This… Excuse me?”

Gardiner began slamming his desk as politely as he could to quell the clamoring voices of the gathered spectators.

“Can we have some quiet, please? Uh. This unusually bloated meeting of the District 110 school board is now called to order.”

He whispered to himself, but the mic caught him and broadcast his frustration to the room: “Where’s that fucking gavel?”

Board Member Fallon tried to cover the mic. Although it was a wasted gesture.

“I don’t know,” Fallon said, “Can’t you go on without it?”

Scandalized community members laughed, guffawed, and shouted their disapproval at the obscenity in equal measure. It barely registered with Gardiner.

“This month,” Gardiner whispered. “This fucking month, I’m telling you. What else could go wrong? I’m ready for the world to cave in. Any day now. And I’m not sure it’d be a bad thing.”

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