Who Are You Calling Elderly?

And other old people insults

How old do you have to be before you become one of the elderly?

So you turn on the news and hear a news report on television about some poor elderly person. The report itself becomes of no consequence for you because you suddenly realize that the person they are talking about is the same age as you!

“Outrageous,” you think to yourself. “Who are ‘they’ calling elderly!”

“Not me because I feel great. Ok, so the bones are creaky, and I’ve got to take all of these meds, but I’m not elderly.”

Ok, so you don’t feel old. If you don’t look in the mirror, you can pretend that you don’t look old. But what about the rest of your life?

Can you still get around on your own? What about your driving ability? Has it stayed the same? Or has it gone downhill?

Then there’s that organization created just for you, otherwise known as the AARP. I’m a member because they give discounts! They also offer an online driving course for “elderly” people. I may be considered elderly by some people, but I still have a teenager at home. He recently got his license which created quite a dent in my budget. I bought myself a new car and passed the old one down to him. Getting a new vehicle and a male teen driver added to my insurance was quite an eye-opener. My insurance company offers a discount for taking a driver’s safety class, so I signed up. It didn’t help my ego any that I remember how my “elderly” father met his last girlfriend in his in-person AARP Drivers Safety class. Grr.

The course was six-hours long. Six hours of sitting at the computer listening to someone read to me. While some of the information was informative, I found a lot of it insulting. Of course, I know how to multiply my car payment by twelve and figure out how much it costs me. Since it’s brand new, I’ve got a long road (no pun intended) to pay the darn thing off, and I am quite aware of how much it costs.

Yes, I know how to multiply my weekly gas prices by 52 to figure out how much I spend on gas per year. I’m not…

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